Blippo+ presents a trailer – YouTube
Look
Someone should really check out Untitled Goose Game publisher Panic, because their latest announcement is completely unhinged.
Panic spontaneously announced what is now apparently a full-motion video game called Blippo+, and virtually none of it makes sense. And I mean it in the most literal way. The trailer, the game's description on Steam, Panic's marketing language, it's all gibberish.
Seriously, I want to describe this game to you. It's my responsibility to describe it to you, and yet… well, this is what you see if you open the game's Steam page:
“”
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⢀⡀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣏⣤⣴⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣟⣭⣤⣶⠾⠛⢉⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿
⣿⠏⠁⠀⢀⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠒⠛⢉⡥⠾⠛⠛⠉⠁⠀⣿
⣿⣀⣤⣶⣿⡿⠟⢋⣡⣾⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⡠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿
⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⢀⠴⠛⠉⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⡶⣟⣡⣤⠖⠊⠀⠀⠀⣀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿
⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⣀⣠⣤⣶⡾⢋⣁⣠⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿
⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⡿⣛⣩⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀ the video is not a game”
Do you see what I mean? Below the feature list on Steam are inconsistencies like “No Demand, Linear Streaming, ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ Enabled, No Commercials, Under Air (UTA), Over-The-Top, Read Only, End User Information System, with robust electronic program guide.”
The trailer at the top of this article doesn't do much to clarify the situation, calling Blippo+ a “revolutionary television experience.”
“Don't you like what's there? You can always change the ca…” says a narrator before being interrupted by a static screen that says, “Unstable signal.” We then see a bunch of grainy full-motion video clips of various TV characters saying various things seemingly with little to no relation to each other.
And that's…pretty much all we've got on Blippo+ for now, folks. I don't even know what platforms it's on or when it will come out. It has a Steam page, so PC is confirmed, but it also looks a lot like a Playdate game, and I could see Panic's handheld crank coming into play, perhaps to change channels? I don't know, I'm grasping at straws. I feel like I've failed everyone, but Blippo+ just didn't give me much! I guess we'll know more soon? With a little luck?
How am I supposed to sleep tonight?
I think I'll choose something from our list of best changing games to play and try to forget about all this.