Dragon Age: Veil Guard is a game about forming a team to fight the ancient elven gods, but the more time I spend in Thedas, the more I realize I'd rather go after a different villain. Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain are two members of the ancient elven pantheon known as Evanuris, and they are up to no good: ruining villages, murdering innocents, and trying to restore their ancient empire. But she seems like a total snooze to me compared to the game's true villainous star: Johanna Hezenkoss, evil lich-in-progress and absolute queen.
I should probably explain why I don't care about the Evanuris, even though they represent a very real and urgent apocalypse. There are certainly things I like about the character designs, as well as interesting story-related moments. Ghilan'nain looks great; Whether it's a disturbingly agile figure, blinded by plague and with too many limbs, or a giant face in the clouds, I love his design. And I also liked those creepy moments where Elgar'nan whispers in the protagonist Rook's mind, promising impossible gifts.
Unfortunately, these moments are drowned out by the duo's dialogue, which is pretty basic. The two shout about drowning the world in plague, infinite power, the futility of anyone who tries to fight them, and their immortality. He's exactly what you'd expect from a world-ending villain, and I got bored after the second encounter. Elgar'nan in particular is a disappointment. Ghilan'nain can lean on its brilliant visual design and army of monsters; Elgar'nan is just a big guy with an impractical hat.
Compare them to Johanna Hezenkoss, a woman who seems remarkably worldly in comparison. He wears the simple clothing of the Mourn Watch, a pair of glasses, and a practical hairstyle. If it weren't for the hideous flashlight at her side, you might mistake her for a simple lab assistant. Emmrich, one of the best companions in the game, asks you to hunt down Hezenkoss on his behalf. She takes the lead, literally, by revealing that the group's Hand of Glory is actually her own severed appendage, and banishes the group to the Fade.
It's a pretty solid start for a villain, but it gets better as you continue Emmrich's story. Eventually, you learn that Hezenkoss is having a big fancy soiree in his evil necromancer mansion. This is obviously suspicious, so the team goes to investigate, only to discover that Hezenkoss has invited petty rivals, annoying nobles, and his other enemies so he can sacrifice them all and inhabit the body of a giant golden skeleton monster. it's like The menubut for necromancy.
I, for one, appreciate the point of sacrificing a group of people you don't like in order to ascend to the immortal form of a giant skeleton. It reminds me of that Spider-Man meme where the hero tells a pterodactyl scientist that he could cure cancer with his technology, and the pterodactyl man, who happens to be riding a triceratops, responds that he doesn't want to cure cancer. He wants to turn people into dinosaurs.
Hezenkoss and Elgar'nan want power, sure, but one of them is much more theatrical about it. I love a good mad scientist and Hezenkoss plays the role with aplomb. I won't spoil the conclusion of his confrontation with Emmrich, but it's one of The VeloguardThe strongest moments. Part of me longs for an alternate history where The Veloguard It had a much smaller scope and less pressing challenges. In this hypothetical alternate timeline, I think Johanna Hezenkoss deserves a promotion to main villain. I've forgotten about Elgar'nan and his plans, but Hezenkoss will live on in my heart: a villain with ambition, goals, and the freedom to chew some scenery during his moment of triumph.